Stress or Joy??

"Our worry will not change the future; it will only rob us of joy in the present." What a great quote for me! I don't think I could count on 40 hands the amount of times I have worried about the future in the last 2 months. All my worrying will not change a thing...it will only stress me out more and make me miss the blessings that are happening around me every day. But oh so hard to think about when it seems to be one thing after another. I honestly do not know how we'd survive without God!

My rehab is going okay. I have to keep reminding myself...with a little help from great friends and family, that I am not just rehabbing one part of my body...but many. My cast came off on October 6th, and I'm finally starting to get use out of my right hand. Yesterday I started OT for it, and it helped a lot. This being said, I am in quite a bit of pain today from it and my left wrist is still very sore. I was told that it could possibly take up to 3-4 months before the pain begins to go away....however since we are going into the cold season that will make my joints hurt more. I never understood when people said they could feel the weather change, however I now do. When my body is cold it is in absolute pain! I will be seeing OT two times a week for two months and will be seeing the wrist doctor in 2 or 3 weeks for a follow up. We are still praying for full use of my wrists and no arthritis!

My knee is going a bit slower. I saw the doctor on the 12th and he was expecting me to walk out of his office without any brace. However when I showed him what I couldn't do, he realized that a large part of why my knee is weeks behind is because my body had so much to recover from. So today I will be getting a new brace that will help me with strength, but not keep me locked in straight position. Hopefully it will allow me to wear more clothes too :) When I started PT I could only bed my leg to 20 degrees. Now I can bend it to 130 degrees! I have an MRI next Tuesday because there is a loop that showed in one of my x-rays as well as some debris. There could possibly be tendon and ligament damage. When I try to bring my leg forward it feels as if there is a jack hammer in my knee. Not so fun! Then I see the doctor on Thursday to find out what it showed. I'm still unable to drive. The unofficial rule is that when I can walk up and down the stairs by stepping one leg and then the other, then I am able to drive. I tried this the other day, and let's just say I am no where close to driving! Right now my leg is in tremendous pain. Quite honestly, the most pain I have been in since the beginning. I even took some strong pain meds last night...which by the way do not allow for any sleeping! Bitter sweet :) But at least I am on my way to recovery!!!!

Now about my sweet Isaac. Oh how I love this boy!!! He is so special to me in so many ways. I understand him so much better now. The brace on the right leg, the lack of mobility in the right hand. I get him. Walking really is hard! But more so than that right now, other things are hard too. Brian took Isaac to Boston on Thursday and it was a tough day. Tough because it's hard to hear the things that I pray against. They did an x-ray on Isaac's belly and it showed that his intestines are a little blocked up. Not horrible, but bad enough that the poor thing is in quite a bit of pain. He started his laxative again, but it causes gas so he's still in some pain. Not fun! He also lost a pound and did not grow at all. So now we have to figure out why he isn't growing. Is it from his B12 being off? I personally think so, but our specimen from the lab here got a little messed up so we have to wait a month. Is it a hormone in balance, a chemical in balance in the brain or crazy glucose level? Not sure. We go back to Boston on November 4th and will probably do more tests. Also we may be meeting with some more doctors. The worry can and sometimes does consume me, but after I get it all out and give it to God, I feel free as a bird!!!

We are so thankful to all of our friends and family! Since I fell on August 28th, I have not had one day where there wasn't someone here helping me with the boys or making us meals or driving me to appointments. Thank you so much for all the amazing support! Quite honestly the last 2 months have been so hard and I'm finally able to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel :) Thank you for all of your love!!!!