Another test?

At some point, things are going to get easier. I really believe that. They have gotten so much easier, but at some point my sweet Isaac will not be in pain every day and instead we can talk about all the miracles that have happened to him and Christopher. AHHHH! I am so tired of asking for prayer. I can honestly say that this part never gets easy. Asking for the same things, waiting for these prayers to be answered. But what is great is watching Isaac's story reach so many. There are Moms at the boys school that hear his story and begin to cry over what we have been through. Sometimes I forget. Maybe forget isn't the right word, maybe block the past is a better example. The tears, the heartache....it's a lot for anyone.

Isaac going down the slide in Norfolk

I can not thank our Wellspring family enough for all your prayers today. You have no idea how much both Isaac and I needed that. Sometimes when you live a life like ours, you forget how great you have it because it is so easy to get consumed with all the tiny details. So thank you Pastor Rick for leading hundreds of people to pray for our family! I am so thankful for our church family!

For everyone else, Isaac is still having a rough week. His poor belly is cramping all day long. The poor thing is in so much pain. He also has massive diaper rash right now and is loosing weight again. This sounds silly, but I honestly think it is true. Every time the weather changes, so does Isaac's body. Unfortunately when there is no humidity and it's sunny out, he feels great. But then as soon as the weather turns just a little, he starts stooling out. So today, with the rain, let's just say it was a stinky room to walk into this morning to get the boys!

Christopher so excited to see the top of the mtn.

But on the positive side, we have finally had two family days! This was a great week for the 4 of us to relax together. Friday afternoon we played outside for hours and then Brian and I had a date night once we put the boys to bed. Then yesterday we had a great day playing at different parks and enjoying the fact that Brian was home and awake. It's been a hard summer with Brian working mostly nights, but we are trying to make the best of every day. All the boys care about each day is making sure that the four of us can be together at least once. At least that is what Christopher tells us each day :)

The boys finished summer school the beginning of August and start back on September 1st. They are so excited! They still don't know who is getting which teacher, but they are so excited to see all their friends and have Physical Education :) Isaac will be getting fitted for another brace. He had one for his right foot, but he grew out of it and it was hindering him from being stable without it. But now it is time for him to get another one. Luckily summer is almost over so it won't be such a big deal for him while he's wearing pants. Also, Isaac will be seeing an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor to see if he has a form of Sleep Apnea. Luckily this doctor won't be giving him shots, he's pretty tired of me giving them to him.

The boys so happy for a family day!

These boys love each other so much! Every day I am so thankful for the love and joy that they have together. I really don't know if I could have greater joy than watching my boys play together every day and enjoying being together. My heart goes pitter patter watching them and basking in their love :)

The roads we walk

I think it is safe to say that there isn't a person who hasn't thought about, "what if I did this...instead of this." I also think it's safe to say that no parent can go more than a month without that thought. If only I hadn't....  Well by golly do I think about this a lot. If only I hadn't taken a shower and they didn't ride their couch down the flight of stairs. If only I hadn't gotten up early to work out, then I would be able to chase them because my knee wasn't swollen. And if only I hadn't given them that to eat, then I wouldn't be changing diapers all day :) Some days it takes everything in me to get through having two boys the same age. I never imagined how at only 3 years old, they could gang up on me, and play me like a fool. For example; if Isaac screams and stamps around in quick circles it means that he is having belly pains and needs to go to the bathroom, so I drop everything and try to make it better. Mother's guilt right? WRONG! It now can also mean that Isaac is playing me and wants me to do what he wants. Geesh! But I have to say, even these moments when I feel like I am going to go insane, I am so thankful for two little boys who can do this to me. I am so glad that they are here to drive me nuts, because I couldn't imagine a day without them :)

Well we are living in our 5th place in 5 years, and I have to say, this is by far the best. Sure the bugs and the oil heat are not fun. But it is so wonderful! The boys are so happy and so are Brian and I. We all sleep better, eat better and enjoy every day. Next week the boys start summer school. I can't wait to see how they do in the same class when Christopher is used to this being 'his teacher.' Then after school is over, then it's only 4 weeks and then the year starts all over. It's so funny how when you ask them about school they get so excited. I never imagined them being this excited for each day. And the stories I hear are so adorable. Apparently Isaac had/has all the teachers and paras helping him with everything because he is so cute. They all just adore him. And they all love how much the boys love each other and gives hugs and kisses on the playground :) I hope they never outgrow this!

So much has happened for Isaac. We got the results from his blood work, and the only funny thing from the endocrinologist is that Isaac's Vitamin D was low. So now he takes two vitamins instead of 1. Everything, and I do mean everything else looked great! We also go the results from the TC1 study from the Cancer Institute in Ohio, and Isaac is missing this gene. However so am I, which is a good thing. This means that he does not have a genetic mutation, rather one that was passed onto him. So this should not effect how he processes B12. So the way we have tentatively left it, is that we just aren't going to worry about it for now. He's doing great at injections every two weeks, so we will just keep up with this. We also had short-gut clinic last week, and they were very impressed! Isaac went from 27.5 to 29.5lbs! He's still only 35.5 inches, but hopefully he will grow over the next few months. He is doing so amazing! This little boy never ceases to amaze me.

Christopher is a 3 year old all the way! This boy doesn't stop. He climbs up everything at playgrounds and you can't hold him back. But he is so sweet with Isaac. If his best friend is having a hard day, he will do anything to make Isaac laugh. His sweetness is such an inspiration to me, to be kind even when I don't really feel the need to be. At night he will call me up to his room after Isaac is in bed, just to tell me how much he loves me and that he wants me to be happy with him. He is always thinking of everyone else.

Now if I could just ask you to pray for a sweet little girl. Her name is Morgan. Her brother was in Isaac's class, and I got to know their Mom pretty well. This little girl got diagnosed with a brain tumor on the 16th. She's already had two surgeries, but it's a long recovery. Especially for a little one, I think she's 7. You can imagine the fears of everyone, especially hers. We have seen so many miracles happen that there is no way we can doubt what God is capable of, that we really want to see that Morgan heals quickly and that there are absolutely no ill side effects. Also that her Mom, Dad and little brother can get through this as a family.

Thank you for all the love that you give our crazy family! We have a lot of ups and downs, but there is always the joy of being a family :)

Trials and Tribulations....

I think I have finally learned the lesson that I should have learned years ago, things just aren't ever going to be easy living in such a crazy world. I keep hoping they will be, but alas I think I have finally come out of my bubble to accept the truth. My children, as wonderful as they are will continue to test me until I am long gone, I will never fully understand the human body as I did not study this and I will never know the reasons that we have had to move so much. AHHH! Twin boys are so much fun. They make me laugh, bring me joy, cry with me, get excited with me and test every boundary that I might have ever imagined. Some days I don't know who is going to fall asleep first :) Today Christopher decided was Happy Brother's Day. All day walked around saying Happy Brother's Day. So precious! Here is a picture of the boys loving each other in a kiss today to celebrate. They really are best friends! I don't think Brian and I could have ever hoped for more. They are everything to us!!!!!

Isaac went to Boston 5 weeks ago, and it was then they talked about putting in a g-tube if he did not gain weight. Well I am happy to say that he has gained weight! We haven't gone back yet, and we never really know what may happen...but Isaac is now 29lbs and about 36 inches! He got taller too! He can now turn the light switch on and off and is so proud that he can do what his little brother can :) We need him to keep growing, keep absorbing, keep stooling and most importantly...stay healthy and nutritious! I'm learning how Isaac works. It took me a long time, but he is willing to eat anything I eat if it seems like it's new and special. So now I need to cook and pretend it's takeout. The other night he ate a tofu and vegetable ginger stir-fry. Carrots, onions, scallions, pea pods, water chestnuts, baby corn and zucchini. He loved it. Christopher is 34lbs and I have no idea how tall...just tall. He is growing like a weed! The boy is starting to outgrow his size 10 shoes!

This coming weekend I will begin moving some of our stuff into our new home while Brian is away on business. Then on Tuesday we will do the big move and we will be in our new place. We are all so excited, but it still stinks that we were forced to move after only  being here for 8 months because the landlord needed to move back in. We know that each move has been from God and that he has provided for us every step, but it's difficult just the same. I have become an amazingly organized mover, but that doesn't mean I enjoy packing boxes for weeks only to have to unpack them quickly to find summer clothes :) However the one thing we are so excited about is that the boys can stay in their pre-school. I honestly have never seen another school like this. We had the option of picking any town we wanted to live in, and financially this is not the town for us, but school wise, it is. The things the boys are learning, the growing that has taken place in both boys is amazing. They love going to school. Christopher draws pictures of all his teachers and Isaac is in love with his. When he sees her or his two favorite paraprofessionals, he just becomes the biggest flirt. They are beginning to make real friends and it's just great. They have PE and Library time. We get full reports after each day telling us everything that they did, ate, drew, painted, went outside, any updates. It's great! So we are so thankful that the boys will be able to continue in their school next year!

Isaac one week old

On June 12th, the boys and I will be walking in Boston to support Children's Hospital Boston. It's a short walk, only 2 miles, but that isn't the important thing. What is important to us is that all the money that is raised will go back directly to Isaac's short-gut team. Most of you know about this, but in case you don't....Isaac's main team consists of a surgeon, a GI doctor, a nutritionist, a nurse practitioner and anyone else who might be needed that day. It is because of this amazing team that Isaac is doing so well. When we left the hospital in Connecticut without much support from many doctors, Isaac was not expected to live, and if he did, his quality of life would be horrific. However because of each and every person from nurse to surgeon who came in touch with Isaac and different medicines and research medicines, Isaac has a great life today! He still has many GI issues, but each year they get better and better. Isaac is alive! Isaac does not have any tubes! Isaac eats everything by mouth! Isaac walks! Isaac talks! Isaac runs! Isaac is SMART (he has the two worst brain bleeds and was expected not to even know who we were)!!!!!!!!!! It is because of going to Boston and being put on Omegavan which is fish oil, that Isaac's intestines grew and his brain was able to get better. And let's not forget to give thanks to God! He is the reason Isaac is healed! He gave this knowledge to each person who helped Isaac and we are forever thankful.

The day before Isaac left for Boston

So on June 12th we will be walking to support this department. So that when families like ours who have outstanding medical bills, who are living away from home, who can't even grasp how they will pay their thousands and thousands medical bills will have a chance. Many meds for Isaac were not covered and yet we were able to get some money to pay for them from people who did things like this before. We are so thankful for them and want to help others. Please, if you feel you want to help donate to this amazing cause...especially after having seen Isaac as a preemie, Isaac the day he went to Boston and Isaac now, please click on the link below. We would be forever thankful that you helped us make a difference in another child's life.

https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=CJ0280

 

 

What a crazy two months!

First Day of School

Have you ever kept waiting for nothing but answers to come before you write something? That's what I've been doing. Waiting for yet another answer before I write so that I don't have to keep updating, yet will there ever be a final answer. No...but I can keep hoping :) February was a crazy month for us. So many wonderful and amazing things happened. The boys turned three! That was the greatest day for us. It was a snow day, so we had no choice but to stay home and celebrate, just the four of us. It was the most amazing day. Streamers, balloons, cupcakes, gifts, movies, coloring, playing as a family...it was truly the most blessed day. The following day the boys started preschool. What a joy! They love every minute of going. They never complain. Actually I can't mention school until 8AM, otherwise I'd have to have them dressed and ready to leave the minute I mention it. The teachers and paraprofessionals are amazing! The boys are so blessed to be in such a great environment! I don't think Brian and I ever imagined school being this wonderful for the boys. I really am so thankful how God moved us here just in time for school. Isaac's teacher has such a heart for him. She gets him on so many levels that any normal teacher wouldn't understand. It's as if she has been part of our family from the day they were born :) Christopher is in love with both his teacher and the PE Intern. It's quite funny! He wants his teacher to come to his house so he can show her all his toys and he wants to be the PE Intern. Brian and I love watching them in their after school PE program. There is nothing like watching them run around, use the parachute, bean bags, scarves, music, jumping and all the while them running over to say, "Watch me Mommy, Miss you Mommy and Love you Mommy" while Isaac is blowing me kisses. They are so precious!

However, as precious as they are, I am realizing what being a full time Mom means. It means you will go insane if you don't think ahead. I am fully convinced that this is the hardest job in the world. When I was at The Hartford, I had many different responsibilities, many different roles and yet somehow at the end of the day I was able to leave my job and go do whatever I needed to do without worry. Or even better, during the day I was able to eat lunch either with co-workers, out on my own or just type away and eat as I go. It was my choice. Now, there is no choice. My children are three and they have voices, opinions and think that voicing their opinions should be a no brainer :) Lately I've been trying to think of what I want to be when the boys start first grade. Do I want to go back to insurance or completely change my life and do something I have on my heart? But then I realized that right now I have so much on my plate that I think I am crazy for even thinking ahead.  So how can I think of adding school to my plan right now when I hardly have time to respond to emails,  I am constantly traveling back and forth to Boston for Isaac and I so badly just want to work out. It's official...I am nuts! I guess we will see what God says :)

Christopher is doing amazing! That little boy is hysterical! He loves to run and jump all day long. Every time I turn around he is standing on Brian's back jumping off. He is full of bruises and yet it never phases him. He is always looking out for Isaac and loves him so much. Every day he tells me how happy he is because I am home with him. He really is such a sweetie! Medically, he is doing awesome! He still has a bit of asthma, and we will have to watch him carefully as we are heading into spring which has been known to set him back a bit. But so far so good!

Isaac is a bit of challenge. When he is having a good day, he is nothing but pure joy! It amazes me how people flock to him. Just the other day I brought him to Boston for a contrast enema and many people were drawn to him. There was a little boy, probably around 6, who wouldn't leave us alone. He even wanted me to read him a book rather than to Isaac. There was an older man who started telling me all about his grandson and his tubes, a woman who told me that her doctor said she needed a c-section and she was upset and many people in clinic who just kept asking me when it got easier. It's amazing how he brings people to us. It also reminded me, as I was sitting there going, "when is this going to get easier for me" that we are in such a better place. Isaac's Boston doctors are awesome, but even they said that there was a chance he would have a central line and g-tube for many years until he was able to eat enough food to get rid of it all. And yet here we are at three years old, no tubes at all. We are in such an easier place. It's the unknown that gets scary to me.

Birthday morning, Chef outfits and backpacks.

Isaac has been in quite a bit of pain for the last six months. Most recently, he has been in immense pain. He has been so constipated that he would stop breathing when it was time to go to the bathroom and his face would turn purple, his lips blue and I would have to shake him and yell at him to breathe. Needless to say, the laxative, stool softeners and suppositories were not doing the trick. We saw Isaac's surgeon on Thursday because we were all concerned that there was an obstruction. They did the radioactive study and all they saw was poop and gas, all the way up his colan. The poor thing had the biggest, hardest belly ever! He is now getting two doses a day of an adult amount of laxative and it's working. His belly is getting softer. It's brutal because we can't do much, but it is helping and that is all that matter. Today Isaac is a much happier kid than the last month! It's so wonderful to see him smile!

We think we may have a possible plan for him now. In October when all this started, Isaac's thyroid levels were totally normal. Now they are not. They are very high. We are going to meet with an endocrinologist on Thursday in Boston to find out more. But it is looking like he might have hypothyroidism. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really hope so. It would be so nice to help him! He has the symptoms, moody, big belly, constipation, no growth....it would be so great to change this with just a medicine and allow his body some relief! There is still an issue with his B12. I will hopefully find out how his numbers are tomorrow. Right now I am giving him an injection every two weeks, but it may have to increase if he isn't maintaining a safe level for that long. We are still trying to figure out with the metabolic team if he is missing the enzeme in his belly to absorb it, in which case Isaac will then go on a research study at Boston just like he did when he began the drug Omegavan which helped save his life. We will keep you posted on that...it's all so complicated.

Brian and I are doing great. Every day I fall more in love with my husband than I ever thought possible. He never ceases to amaze me at what an amazing father he is. This past week he worked between 10-12 hours of overnights, getting about 4-6 hours of sleep a night and was able to be a full time Dad while I ran back to Boston with Isaac. He's amazing! Every day I thank God that he brought me such an amazing person to be my husband!

Thank you all so very much for your prayers. Somedays we feel as if we can't catch a break and we are so beat down that the only thing to do is cry. Even the boys. When I told Christopher that Isaac may be admitted on Friday he reached over and took Isaac's hand and said, "Mommy, CC sad. I love Isaac. No hospital." Our family does not do well being broken up for more than 24 hours, so I thank you so much from all of us for praying that it did not happen! Instead we were able to be home and to love on each other!

Running is a new sense of joy and relief!

For almost three years we have lived an emotional roller coaster ride with more bumps than I ever imagined. However for the first time in three years, I have had three days of nothing but the joys of whizzing downhill with my hair blowing in the wind. Joy, peace, happiness, excitement....these are the things that for the first time our family is experiencing without a 'but' at the end of it. We don't care what tomorrow brings, today is amazing!

December was a month of pure hell, plain and simple. Each one of us was sick on and off the entire month, but the worst of it was during Christmas. Isaac caught a stomach bug on the Wednesday night before Christmas. Lets just say our our house was a mess on Thursday. Thursday night Christopher caught a cold. He woke up at 2AM struggling to breathe. He was doing the full belly breathing and couldn't even get a word out. Thanks to many struggles with this, I knew how to get him under a bit of control. Quick dose of Oral Predisone and a double dose of Pulmacort in his nebulizer. After about 20 minutes I was able to get his breathing under control. In all reality I should have gone to the ER, however we've been through this so much that I was confident that I knew that I was doing exactly what they could do. Christopher began his sick plan right away, and soon to follow was Isaac with the same symptoms. So on Tuesday, off the Pediatrician we went. Both boys began Oral Predisone, nebulizer treatments 4-5 times a day and antibiotics. None of this would have been bad, except that Isaac had a massive reaction to the medicine. He had a very strong reaction to the Predisone....much more than he ever did before. He was inconsolable, had difficulty doing anything...eating, drinking, walking and of course with a child that is already underweight and can't maintain his vitamins there are many fears that this is it.

With the knowledge that we are to be on the lookout for brain malfunction.

I know that I should have taken all this as a time to reach out to our church and loved ones for prayer, encouragement and support, but quite honestly I couldn't. My heart just couldn't bear one more moment of the fear. The heartache I have had to live with each day as I watch my child go up and down, needles, tests, appointments, observations...I wondered how much was too much. Was this what people meant when they would look me in the face and say, "How much are you going to put him through Jenn?" So I finally did what a dear friend said, and I took one hour for myself. I took a long shower, sat in my room and prayed. God led me to Isaiah 61:3 "He will provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Wow did this speak to my broken Mommy heart! Here I was, suffering in my own misery and thinking that after three years things aren't going to get any better. How dare me to think that! I meditated on this for a while and realized that I knew I could trust that despite my present pain, God has plans for my/our future. He is able to use whatever we are going through today to display his splendor through us tomorrow. It's up to me to trust without seeing and to open my heart without fear and doubts. So that I did.

Three days ago, I asked Christopher to pray for Isaac. It was so sweet...."God please keep Isaac safe. Make him my brother. Heal him. Make him play with me. Make him happy. I love you." (Of course this was in broken toddler words:) ) From that day till today, we have seen HUGE miracles happen! The nightmares that were plaguing Christopher are gone! Isaac is so much happier. Both boys have slept twelve hour nights and 2 hours of naps. But most importantly....Isaac is on the move! His intestinal pain doesn't seem as great as it was and he has a new sense of independence! This little man is a new guy!

For the first time today, I was able to experience the joy of running after my toddler twins at church. They each took off in different directions! JOY!!!! I can't tell you how happy I was running after them, although it would have been better if it wasn't in front of so many people :) 

Today in the beginning of the service, God put Proverbs 3: 5-7 on my heart, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." This is what I did at the beginning of church, and at the end, my boys were running on their own darting through people. Trusting God, people, situations, life in general...it's so hard. But walking out three years of pain, despair, joy, patience, peace, tears, guilt, happiness...it has made me such a better person today than I was three years ago. I

So much has happened....

Last weekend Pastor Rick said that he has learned so much from his daughter, and it really got me thinking. I can honestly say that I have learned more from my children in 2 years then I have probably learned in a lifetime. They have taught me so much more about what life is really about than I ever imagined. I watch (then reprimand) Isaac attack Christopher with full force and as long as Isaac hugs or kisses him after, he forgives and forgets. Isaac has been through so much physically, emotionally and spiritually, and yet he still tries his hardest in every situation and is unwilling to just give up. I am so encouraged every day after spending it with my two little munchkins.

Wow how do I even recap all hat has gone on? Our family has been put through a lot, and yet blessed 100 times even more. I am so thankful for so many wonderful family members, friends and new acquaintances. I'm healing quite well. My right wrist is doing amazing! So much for all the supposed pain I'd be going through :) My left wrist still has quite a bit of pain. It feels as if someone keeps poking it with a screwdriver all day, but totally doable. My knee is doing so much better. I can finally climb stairs. It doesn't look so pretty, but I can do it. I forget that I can't do certain things, like getting up off the floor or squatting. But all in all, I can't complain at all!

Christopher is doing great. He is a champ! He is trying so hard to be a big boy. He can count to 10, knows about half of his ABC's and if he keeps up with his doctor skills, wants to be a doctor. Many days I find the two of them in the bathroom with just their diapers, their small couch and Christopher telling Isaac to lay down so that he can listen to his belly and chest. It is so precious!

Isaac is a tough boy. I am so proud of him! The last two months he had lost weight. His Short-Gut Docs were getting a little worried. Also we have been doing monthly testing of his vitamin B12. When they did the test in November, after giving 1,000mg (an adult dose), his numbers should have been over 200. Yet they were below 150. Vitamin B12 is what helps you grow and most importantly it provides nutrition to the brain. If someone to have a B12 deficiency, it would eventually lead to brain damage. So Isaac's doctors referred us to a new doctor who we saw today. He is a great guy! He's also incredibly knowledgeable. I consider us so lucky to be close to Boston, and even luckier to have such a wonderful team of doctors who all talk about Isaac together. Every one of his doctors is on the 'in' about Isaac. This helps us so much!

Dr. Barry (the new doctor) drew me a beautiful picture of the entire body. He showed me how/where things get processed, what we are missing and what we need. So here's the deal to the best of my knowledge as to what Dr. Barry tried to explain to me. We did a urine test last month to see how much Isaac was excreting of his B12. The test is very sensitive and it came back normal. Yet every blood test shows that his B12 is very low. Thus this leads us to one very probable cause; his Transcobalamin I (TC1) is low. This is the binding agent that breaks down the B12 in the gut. Isaac is missing the valve in the intestine that not only slows down food, but breaks down the B12 with the TC1. This is a very new thing for the US to learn about. Until recently, no one really studied it. If in fact Isaac does have this, he will be one in less than 50 people in the world would be diagnosed with this. If this is true, then we have to figure out how to up the TC1 so that Isaac does not get brain damage.

What I haven't spoken of lately is that Isaac is doing so well. He's walking and talking, but we do still have brain issues to deal with. Some of the things that could happen from lack of B12 have already happened. So we really do not have any room to play with. We need to get this healed ASAP! Today they took a blood test from both Isaac and I to get a sample of our DNA. They are sending it to a cancer institute in Ohio that is studying this right now. These are the most up-to-date people in the US on this right now. They took Isaac's to see if his TC1 is low, and they took mine to see if this might be something that I have and passed onto him. If by some chance Isaac doesn't have this, then unfortunately the poor guy will endure lots more testing because they have no idea what else it might be. We won't get the results back until after Christmas, so until then we are going to keep going as planned. Isaac gets his B12 shots twice a month now. Our pediatrician is looking into seeing if the insurance company will allow me to give them to him, rather than bringing him in. Who would have thought that in in two years, ten months, all my business skills would go out the door and I'd take many lessons in biology.

I'm annoyed by this, frustrated that once again I have to say, "UGH! I'm tired of it being my child!" But at the same time I actually have peace in my heart. I understand all the complications, I 'get' everything that can happen, but I'm not willing to accept it. A few days ago I wrote a status that I just wanted to understand how Isaac's body. Now I understand it, so I can move to the next step of fighting for it. Please join Brian and I in fighting the fight for Isaac. We are not going to accept that our little man will get brain damage from this. We know that a full healing is going to happen and that our little man will one day grow up to have a wife and children :)

Oh and also, please if you decide to google anything....please do not ask me any questions about it or try to give ideas. We have the best specialists in the world working on this right now and we trust God 100%. We couldn't ask for anything more.

All our love,
Brian and Jenn

Stress or Joy??

"Our worry will not change the future; it will only rob us of joy in the present." What a great quote for me! I don't think I could count on 40 hands the amount of times I have worried about the future in the last 2 months. All my worrying will not change a thing...it will only stress me out more and make me miss the blessings that are happening around me every day. But oh so hard to think about when it seems to be one thing after another. I honestly do not know how we'd survive without God!

My rehab is going okay. I have to keep reminding myself...with a little help from great friends and family, that I am not just rehabbing one part of my body...but many. My cast came off on October 6th, and I'm finally starting to get use out of my right hand. Yesterday I started OT for it, and it helped a lot. This being said, I am in quite a bit of pain today from it and my left wrist is still very sore. I was told that it could possibly take up to 3-4 months before the pain begins to go away....however since we are going into the cold season that will make my joints hurt more. I never understood when people said they could feel the weather change, however I now do. When my body is cold it is in absolute pain! I will be seeing OT two times a week for two months and will be seeing the wrist doctor in 2 or 3 weeks for a follow up. We are still praying for full use of my wrists and no arthritis!

My knee is going a bit slower. I saw the doctor on the 12th and he was expecting me to walk out of his office without any brace. However when I showed him what I couldn't do, he realized that a large part of why my knee is weeks behind is because my body had so much to recover from. So today I will be getting a new brace that will help me with strength, but not keep me locked in straight position. Hopefully it will allow me to wear more clothes too :) When I started PT I could only bed my leg to 20 degrees. Now I can bend it to 130 degrees! I have an MRI next Tuesday because there is a loop that showed in one of my x-rays as well as some debris. There could possibly be tendon and ligament damage. When I try to bring my leg forward it feels as if there is a jack hammer in my knee. Not so fun! Then I see the doctor on Thursday to find out what it showed. I'm still unable to drive. The unofficial rule is that when I can walk up and down the stairs by stepping one leg and then the other, then I am able to drive. I tried this the other day, and let's just say I am no where close to driving! Right now my leg is in tremendous pain. Quite honestly, the most pain I have been in since the beginning. I even took some strong pain meds last night...which by the way do not allow for any sleeping! Bitter sweet :) But at least I am on my way to recovery!!!!

Now about my sweet Isaac. Oh how I love this boy!!! He is so special to me in so many ways. I understand him so much better now. The brace on the right leg, the lack of mobility in the right hand. I get him. Walking really is hard! But more so than that right now, other things are hard too. Brian took Isaac to Boston on Thursday and it was a tough day. Tough because it's hard to hear the things that I pray against. They did an x-ray on Isaac's belly and it showed that his intestines are a little blocked up. Not horrible, but bad enough that the poor thing is in quite a bit of pain. He started his laxative again, but it causes gas so he's still in some pain. Not fun! He also lost a pound and did not grow at all. So now we have to figure out why he isn't growing. Is it from his B12 being off? I personally think so, but our specimen from the lab here got a little messed up so we have to wait a month. Is it a hormone in balance, a chemical in balance in the brain or crazy glucose level? Not sure. We go back to Boston on November 4th and will probably do more tests. Also we may be meeting with some more doctors. The worry can and sometimes does consume me, but after I get it all out and give it to God, I feel free as a bird!!!

We are so thankful to all of our friends and family! Since I fell on August 28th, I have not had one day where there wasn't someone here helping me with the boys or making us meals or driving me to appointments. Thank you so much for all the amazing support! Quite honestly the last 2 months have been so hard and I'm finally able to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel :) Thank you for all of your love!!!!