A month of trials

Wow has the last month been a mix of emotions! Four weeks ago, Brian and I packed up our 2nd floor apartment to move us to a wonderful condo. The move was amazing! A HUGE thank you to each and every person that helped us! It was so smooth, pretty quick and so helpful for getting the boys settled in. That first night was so special for us. We felt joy, peace and happiness for the first time in over a year. It felt amazing! Then on Monday morning at 3AM, Isaac and I headed to Boston for what we pray was his final surgery. He did so well. He was pretty sore and out of it for about a full 24 hours, but then he ate like a champ and they sent us home. His belly looks amazing! He's doing so great now with his walking, all because he isn't afraid of pulling on it. It's amazing how something can hold him back, even though he was so used to it.

Our big struggle right now is the fact that he isn't maintaining vitamin B12 at all. He's getting a mega dose every month, and just barely staying above the safety line. Please pray for his body to absorb it. B12 is VERY important for the brain! And everyone knows how much we have had to worry about his brain already. Next month we go for short-gut clinic again, and I'm pretty sure they will check his blood levels again. Please pray that they are up.

So we moved into our new place on Saturday August 21. On Saturday August 28th, I had a nasty fall. I was beyond exhausted from only 3-4 hours of sleep a night. So that night when I turned the lights off, I walked over to the stairs, which I thought were the stairs to go up. But little did I know that I was standing a foot to the right, and when I put my right leg out to step up, it never found a stair. I screamed, tumbled, slid on my face, felt my right wrist break, hit the bottom and felt my right knee break as it took all of my body weight on it. I laid in a heap at the bottom of the stairs in the dark, home alone with my sleeping babies. Thank goodness I fell with my cell phone which I could see glowing. I hit send to the last person, who was thankfully Brian...and called him screaming that I needed him to come home, I couldn't walk, I had broken bones, but I was okay. Thank goodness he was smarter than me, who was going into shock, and he called 911. Brian and the ambulance arrived at the same time...then my mom, then  Brian's mom. What a  night. Pain, fear, anxiety, guilt...I went through every emotion.

Brian's Mom said it best when she said that when I came home Sunday morning at 6:15, I looked like a horror movie because both of my arms were casted straight up, past my elbow, my right leg was in a full brace, I had a black eye that was surrounded by blood and puss all the way down my face. I couldn't even cry because the tears on my broken skinned face hurt so bad. Brian somehow carried me up the stairs where I laid all day, in and out of pain until 8PM when I had a mini seizure from the pain meds, dehydration and the pain from the ER putting my leg brace on all wrong. So as I laid in Brian's Mom's lap weeping...thinking at nothing could ever hurt this much, Brian on the phone with 911, and some sweet friends taking care of my boys...it was time to take another ambulance ride to UCONN.

The doctor that was on was the same doctor as the night before. His first words to me were, "I'm not surprised you are back. I should have done a CAT Scan on your face, checked your brace and given you medicine to help the nausea before you left." Well that was encouraging! Sheesh! Luckily there was an amazing PA on who took care of me. She fixed my leg brace, which was on all wrong, gave me much better medicine and fixed everything. After being there from 9PM-2:30AM, it was time to go home. I didn't break my face which was good, but it did take a beating from the trauma.

Another day of laying in bed in pain...and then on Tuesday I went to the wrist doctor who said that my left wrist was fractured,  but not as bad as the right, so given the situation, I was allowed to use it. Then he said my right wrist was bad. There is a 1mm gap between the bone and my joints. He anticipates that I will only have 80-85% use of it after it is all healed, and there is a very good chance for arthritis to impact it severely. We are praying against  both of these things! Right now it is casted, and will be taken off October 6th. Once they do an x-ray, it will determine if it healed correctly, or if surgery is needed. We are praying for a full healing! I have about another 12 weeks before I will be able to lift my kids! UGH!!!

The wrist doctor then sent me to the knee doctor because he thought my patella tendon had ruptured. After the knee doctor drained 60 cc's of fluid out of my knee, he said that I fractured my knee cap right where the muscle attaches. So our big struggle is that if we push my knee like we should, then we risk breaking the muscle from the bone will will mean immediate surgery. But we have to push the knee somewhat in order for the bone to grow back properly. FRUSTRATION!! So I have at least another 8 weeks if not 12 weeks before I can drive or bend my knee. Right now I can bend it about 3% on my good days. I do all my PT exercises, but it's healing much slower than expected...according to my PT.

Now is the tricky time. Brian's Mom was here taking care of us all for 3 weeks, and my Mom was here helping her after school and on the weekends...but now my mom still has to work and  Brian's Mom had to go back to PA. Now we are relaying on friends to come during the week to help care for the boys and I while Brian is at work. It is so hard. I just want to be 100%, but I have months before that happens. Just this morning, I tried to sit down with Isaac on the couch, and when I did, I somehow managed to turn my knee...more screams, more pain and hopefully no set backs. No being able to change diapers, feed my children, pick them up when they fall down, hug them when they need it, give myself a shower, hold a glass without it hurting....these are the things I want. I don't want material things...I don't even want money, although that would help with all the bills my accident created, I just want to be a Mom, Wife and Person again. I can't believe all the things I took for grated before this. It took me days just to be able to hold a fork by myself, or go to the bathroom or get up off the couch.

I am so thankful that I didn't hurt my back or neck and that I will heal. I just need the patience to give my body the time to heal. You'd think I would take time to sit by myself and pray about things. But instead I feel terrible that my poor husband, who has barely slept in 3 weeks, now has to do everything for the boys and I while I sit with ice all over my body. I thought our marriage was put to the ultimate test each time we were told horrible news about the boys. But this is a whole new test because there isn't any fighting we can do to fix me. Please 2011, be a year with only joy!

Thank you all for your prayers, your friendship, all the gifts, cards, meals, phone calls, emails, text messages, surprise visits...we are so thankful that during our time of need we have so many great friends and family!!!